Hearing the doctor say, “It’s dementia,” about someone who raised and cared for you can be overwhelming. You might feel a wave of fear, sadness, confusion, and uncertainty all at once.
This is completely normal, and it’s okay to simply feel your feelings.
By 2030, nearly 1 million people in Canada could live with dementia, according to estimates from the Alzheimer’s Society of Canada. If your parent or someone you love has recently been diagnosed, you are far from alone, even if the news has left you feeling otherwise.
Loving someone through dementia is one of the most uniquely challenging and emotional journeys you can experience, and no one arrives at it fully prepared. But please remember: while dementia may change certain parts of your parent, it doesn’t erase the connection you share. The bond you’ve built over a lifetime doesn’t suddenly disappear; instead, it asks for a shift in how you show up and a willingness to meet them where they are.
In many ways, this can become your opportunity to give back the same patience and compassion your parent once showed you. Just as they guided you through unfamiliar parts of life, you can now help them through this one.
This is where education and patience become invaluable! In this blog, we’ll discuss helpful tips to cope with your parents’ diagnosis and share practical tips for supporting them with care, understanding, and love as you navigate this journey together.
How to Support Your Parent with Dementia
1. Speak Slow and Clear
Dealing with dementia in a parent means even everyday conversations can feel unexpectedly challenging. What once was a simple instruction can quickly become overwhelming if too much information is shared at once.
For instance, when you’re all getting ready to leave the house and you say:
- “Let’s get ready to go to the doctor; please put on your shoes and grab your coat.”
This might seem clear, but for someone with dementia, it’s a lot to process.
Instead, break the task into smaller, simpler steps:
- “It’s time to see the doctor. Please put on your shoes.” Pause, give them time to respond, and move on to the next step when they’re ready.
Beyond the words themselves, pay attention to the environment and your tone. A quiet space and a calm, patient voice can go a long way in helping your parent feel safe and supported. Dementia slows down how the brain processes information, so slowing down with them—both in speech and in action—is a great way to help your parent.
2. Use Friendly Body Language
Nonverbal communication can be just as important as the words you say when supporting a parent with dementia. Simple gestures like smiling, making eye contact, and maintaining a calm, relaxed demeanour can help your parent feel safe, comforted, and understood.
You might try:
- Sitting beside them instead of across from them to feel more connected
- Holding their hand while you talk to provide reassurance through touch
- Nodding along as they speak to show you’re listening, even if you don’t fully understand
- Offering a gentle pat on the back or shoulder during difficult moments
- Keeping your facial expressions warm and open, especially if they seem confused or upset
3. Maintain a Routine
A consistent daily routine can provide comfort and reduce confusion for a parent with dementia. Predictability helps them feel more secure and promotes independence, especially when memory and reasoning become more challenging. Try to keep regular times for meals, medications, and bedtime each day.
For example, instead of varying dinner time between 5 p.m. one day and 7 p.m. the next, aim for a steady schedule like, “We always have dinner around 6 p.m.” This creates rhythm and stability they can rely on.
4. Put Away Dangerous Items
Ensuring your home is a safe and comforting place for your parent with dementia is an essential part of caregiving. By thoughtfully securing certain household items, you can prevent potential accidents and create a more reassuring environment. Consider the following measures:
- Medications: Secure all prescription and over-the-counter drugs to avoid accidental ingestion
- Sharp Objects: Store items like knives, scissors, and tools in a safe place to prevent unintended injuries
- Cleaning Supplies: Keep products such as detergents and bleach out of reach, as their contents can be harmful if mishandled
- Flammable Materials: Ensure that gasoline, lighter fluid, and matches are stored securely to reduce fire hazards
- Weapons: Remove firearms and other weapons from the home or lock them away securely to prevent accidents
- Alcohol: Limit access to alcoholic beverages, as they can interact adversely with medications and affect judgment
- Poisonous Plants: Identify and remove any household plants that may be toxic if ingested
- Car Keys: Keep car keys in a secure place to prevent unsafe driving
Consider using locked cabinets or drawers to store these items, preventing accidental harm.
5. Clear the Clutter
6. Post Helpful Reminders
Placing labels or signs around the house can assist with orientation and memory (and is a nice way to remind them of your ongoing support, even when you’re not physically present).
For example, labelling the bathroom door or placing a note on the refrigerator that reads, “Lunch at 12 PM,” can provide comforting prompts that help maintain daily routines.
7. Do Things They Enjoy
Engaging your parent in meaningful activities they enjoy can greatly improve their mood and help maintain your connection. But it’s important to pay attention to how these activities make them feel and adapt when necessary.
For example, your parent may have loved going on long walks, but now short strolls around the yard or sitting together on the porch listening to the birds might feel more comfortable. If they used to enjoy reading, perhaps looking through a photo album together and reminiscing is now a better fit.
If you notice your parent getting frustrated or tired during an activity, pause and check in. You might say, “Would you like to take a break?” or “Is this feeling okay for you?” Tailoring activities to match their current abilities ensures the experience stays positive rather than becoming overwhelming.
Most importantly, focus on the feeling behind the activity. Your goal isn’t to recreate the past exactly as it was but to share calm, joyful moments together in the present.
How to Cope with a Parent with Dementia
1. Learn About Dementia
Understanding dementia makes it easier to navigate the changes ahead. The more you learn about how it affects your parent’s brain and behaviour, the better prepared you’ll be to support them with empathy, patience, and care. You should pay attention to:
- What comforts them
- What triggers frustration
- How to adjust routines to create a calmer, safer environment that meets their evolving needs
If you’re looking for extra guidance, there’s no need to do this alone. Below, you’ll find a list of dementia resources with options available across Canada and in specific regions, including Calgary, Edmonton, Vancouver, and Vancouver Island.
2. Try to Stay Calm
When your parent gets upset or confused, it’s natural to want to correct them—but arguing often makes things worse. Instead, focus on staying calm. Keep your voice steady, your body language relaxed, and your words simple and reassuring.
Even if their fears or frustrations don’t make sense to you, their feelings are real. Try responses like:
- “I can see you’re upset. I’m here to help.”
- “It’s okay. We’ll figure it out together.”
Your calm presence helps them feel safe and supported, even in difficult moments. And remember—step away and take breaks when you need to. You can’t pour from an empty cup.
3. Set Realistic Expectations
It’s easy to get caught up in what your parent used to do, but focusing on what they’re able to do now makes daily life feel more positive for both of you.
Maybe they can’t follow long conversations anymore, but they still enjoy listening to music. Maybe they need help cooking, but they love setting the table.
Celebrate the abilities they still have, and meet them where they are.
4. Build a Support Network & Ask for Help
It’s the 21st century—let’s normalize asking for help! It’s essential to recognize that caring for a parent with dementia can be overwhelming, and seeking help is both courageous and necessary.
Remember, you don’t have to navigate this journey alone. Lean on friends, family, support groups—online or offline—and professional caregivers for support. Additionally, numerous resources listed below can connect you with further assistance.
Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a testament to your strength and commitment to providing the best care possible. The more support you have, the better equipped you’ll be to care for your loved one.
5. Get Important Documents in Place
Planning ahead can save you from added stress later.
Work with your parent early to organize key documents while they can still share their wishes. These might include:
- Power of Attorney: For healthcare and finances
- Advanced Healthcare Directive: Outlining medical care preferences
- Will: To manage their estate
- Long-Term Care Plan: Covering future care preferences
- Financial Information: Bank accounts, insurance policies, pensions
It’s not an easy step, but having these in place brings peace of mind and helps ensure their wishes are honoured.
6. Take Care of Yourself
You can’t care for your parent if you’re completely running on empty.
Make time to rest, take breaks, and ask for help when needed. Eat well, move your body, and check in on your own health.
Caring for yourself is just as important as caring for them.
7. Find Joy in Small Wins
Dementia can make everyday life feel heavy, but there are still good moments worth noticing!
Maybe it’s a shared laugh, a favourite song, or a calm afternoon together. Celebrate these small wins—they’re reminders that connection, joy, and love are still very much part of your story.
Dementia Support Resources and Organizations
Finding the right support for both your parent and yourself can be difficult. Here’s a list of trusted resources and organizations across Canada to help guide you through this journey:
National Resources
- Alzheimer Society of Canada – Offers information, caregiver support, and connections to local chapters.
- Alzheimer Society First Link® Program – Provides direct support and guidance after a dementia diagnosis.
Local Resources
Calgary
- Alzheimer Calgary – Offers caregiver education, support groups, First Link® services, and dementia care training.
- Carya Calgary – Provides support services for seniors and caregivers, including counselling and community programs.
Edmonton
- HelpForDementia – Provides education, support, and resources to raise dementia awareness and advance research.
- Caregivers Alberta – Offers programs and resources specifically designed for caregivers, including workshops and peer support.
Vancouver
- Alzheimer Society of B.C. – Vancouver Resource Centre – Delivers education, support groups, and one-on-one support for families facing dementia.
- First Link® Dementia Helpline 1-800-936-6033 – Provides someone to speak with for information, support, and connection to dementia services and resources.
Vancouver Island
- Alzheimer Society of B.C. – Vancouver Island Office (Victoria) – Provides local support groups, education sessions, and First Link® services.
- Family Caregivers of British Columbia – Supports family caregivers with regional programs and resources.
Podcasts
- Is Your Parent Showing Signs of Dementia? What Behaviours to Watch For
- The Role of Companionship in Mental and Emotional Wellbeing for those with Dementia
Contact Ohana Care for Compassionate In-Home Dementia Support
Caring for a parent with dementia is an emotional journey, one that can leave you feeling overwhelmed and uncertain at times. Dementia care means supporting your parent with dignity and finding ways to stay connected, even through the tough moments.
At Ohana Care, we understand the weight of this responsibility and the toll it can take on your well-being. We’re here to provide in-home dementia support that puts your parent’s comfort and well-being first. With gentle care and genuine understanding, we focus on meeting their emotional and physical needs while helping them feel safe, respected, and loved. Our dedicated caregivers assist with everything from personal care and meal preparation to meaningful companionship, social interactions, and light housekeeping. We aim to help your parent feel safe, comfortable, and engaged while allowing you the space to nurture your bond and focus on what matters most.
If you’re looking for a way to manage this experience with care and dignity for your loved one — and relief for yourself — reach out today. We’re here to walk alongside you, offering the thoughtful, compassionate care your parent deserves while supporting your emotional and physical well-being during this challenging time. You don’t have to do it alone.
