In this episode of Caring Conversations, Melissa Therrien and Liz Lewington discuss the vital role of companionship in the mental and emotional well-being of individuals with dementia. Joined by caregiver Jamie McGurgin, they explore the importance of personalized care, the impact of touch, and effective de-escalation techniques in caregiving. The conversation emphasizes the need to understand dementia beyond labels and stigmas, advocating for a compassionate and individualized approach to care. In this conversation, caregivers discuss the importance of emotional connections, consistency in care, and the joy found in working with dementia patients. They emphasize the need for patience, understanding, and teamwork among caregivers and families to create a supportive environment for those affected by dementia. The discussion highlights practical strategies for building relationships with patients and the positive impact of sharing successes with families.
Melissa Therrien, RN (00:01)
Hello and welcome back to Caring Conversations. I am Melissa Therrien and I’m here with my partner, Liz Lewington. Happy New Year, Liz. Welcome back. It was a long time, a little hiatus we took from our podcasting. So it’s good to be back. I’m really excited. And today we have a guest speaker again. We’re on a roll. People wanna talk to us. It’s very exciting.
Liz Lewington (00:11)
Been doing it here in my left side.
Yeah.
Melissa Therrien, RN (00:31)
Today we have a caregiver that works with OhanaCare, Jamie McGurgin. And so we’re really excited to chat with her. Today’s topic is the role of companionship in mental and emotional well-being for those with dementia. So a on the heels of our dementia topic three weeks ago, I guess now. We’re again chatting about dementia and how companionship can help. So that’s where we’re at, Liz.
Liz Lewington (00:58)
Yeah.
It’s such an important conversation and you know, folks with dementia out there need a lot of support in order to, you know, remain content and happy with their life. And because it changes so much, it’s really an important conversation to have and continue having as that journey, you know, continues down the road. So, and I know that Jamie is a wealth of knowledge and you know, she does amazing things out there that, you know, people that have been in the industry for a year
don’t have the capacity to have that set of compassion. you are a treasure, Jamie, and we’re so happy to have you with us at OhanaCare and with us today here. So, yeah, I don’t know. Do you want to jump in? Where do we want to start?
Melissa Therrien, RN (01:44)
Well, let’s Jamie introduce herself. Jamie, tell us about your wealth of knowledge and all of the experience that you bring to the table today.
Liz Lewington (01:46)
yeah.
Jamie McGurgin (01:54)
Well, I’ve been in healthcare for 20 years coming up and I’ve worked in various settings. I’ve been in the acute setting. I’ve been in the public health and I’ve worked like the ICUs, the burn unit. So I’ve been all over the place. So I’ve gained a lot of different experiences that I’ve been able to incorporate. And then also I have twins that are now 23 and
Melissa Therrien, RN (02:23)
well.
Jamie McGurgin (02:24)
One of them does have special needs. So that is a lot of the experience I’ve had with him has come into play with how I treat our clients.
Melissa Therrien, RN (02:28)
No.
Excellent. That’s great. I mean, I think we see that carry over a lot. And so that’s really wonderful that you have both personal and professional experience. We’re really excited to talk to you. It’s not a firing squad, I promise.
Jamie McGurgin (02:50)
Thank you.
Liz Lewington (02:50)
Yeah, absolutely, absolutely.
The friendliest firing squad ever,
Melissa Therrien, RN (02:57)
Right.
Okay, so Jamie, do you want to tell us about what, specifically right now, you know, you have a client that you’re working with. so what does companionship look like in dementia care? Like, where does companionship fit in?
Jamie McGurgin (03:18)
Well, companionship is very important because whether the people are at home or in a facility, just the one-on-one care with them can make the world of difference. When I provide companionship, I don’t provide it just for our client. I look at it as the whole family, right? We’re not just there for the client. We’re there for the whole family. The important thing to remember is no matter what, there’s still people.
They still have the emotions and we still have to treat them with our compassion and patience and everything. And some days, yes, it is a struggle because they’re so unpredictable, right? But dementia patients, they’re also the most loving.
Liz Lewington (04:09)
Yeah, it’s sort of like cracking the code with each individual person with that with dementia, know, nobody is the same. It’s not it’s not one brush you can paint people with. So that individual approach that comes with that one on one.
Melissa Therrien, RN (04:09)
I love that so much.
Liz Lewington (04:25)
You know in facilities if we’re talking to 24-hour facility with 24-hour care and You know social groups that sort of thing where they where they try to Appeal to the larger groups everybody to try and get everybody involved It isn’t always the best fit for someone with dementia. So having that one-on-one companionship where you can actually You know meet them where they’re at that day and and guide your care based on that individual
It makes such a big difference because, you know, they can’t often they can’t socialize in those larger groups. It’s overwhelming. It’s overstimulating. There’s, you know, they have needs that they can’t communicate with us. So being able to provide one-on-one specific care for that person is so important. And like you said, everybody, you know, you never know what they’re going to be like. So every day you’ve got to figure it out, figure it out with them.
Melissa Therrien, RN (05:23)
And I think that’s the case with everybody, really. Like we tend to forget that dementia is a disease. You know, it is, it’s a condition that has affected this person’s brain. It’s a condition that has affected someone’s brain. So it is not a personality trait, you know, where the difficult behavior or the challenging behaviors have come out. This is something outside of this person’s control that they are contending with internally, externally,
you you name it. so I think we have to constantly be reminding, we can’t paint everyone with the same paintbrush, regardless of who they are or whether they have dementia or not. You know, I think we get into, you know, kind of segregating this group of people that are suffering from a disease process and calling them dementia care, dementia patients, right? Where, you know, we don’t do that with other disease processes.
We don’t treat other disease processes necessarily different or call that a personality trait or label them as difficult. So I, yeah, go ahead.
Jamie McGurgin (06:32)
The unfortunate thing that I see quite often with our dementia patients, people label them as being bad. You know, you’re bad, you did something bad. We need to stop that stigma of doing that because honestly, they don’t know what they’re doing. Sometimes they do have their moments of clarity, but you know, there’s nothing wrong with reinforcing saying, hey, you know, don’t do that because this is your house, for example, spitting on the floor or something, right?
Melissa Therrien, RN (06:39)
huh.
Jamie McGurgin (07:03)
but telling them, know, hey, don’t do that because this is your house. But to say, hey, stop being bad or you’re bad, you’re going to go sit in the corner. You know, that’s not the best way to go about a situation.
Liz Lewington (07:17)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Therrien, RN (07:18)
Yeah, I totally agree. It’s that label and that stigma for sure. Yeah.
Liz Lewington (07:23)
Yeah,
100%. I don’t know what it’s like in Alberta, that purple dot. Do you know that?
Terminology. Well, you know that that’s how health care we discuss with each other this person has and it’s called responsive behaviors, you know, this this is somebody that has been triggered previously but on an individual basis like we say we’re not painting them with a with one brush you can have somebody that reacts differently to somebody else’s approach and it’s a matter of creating that care plan that cuts out the potential for that person to be triggered so if they
Melissa Therrien, RN (07:29)
Yeah.
Liz Lewington (07:58)
you know, if it’s the time of day, then let’s offer them something that’s calming at that time of day when they’re being triggered. It’s often if you’re in a facility or in hospital, it’s at shift change when everything is different, you know? There’s not that consistent caregiver, but they can’t respond with, what’s going on here? But they can respond with a feeling of agitation or upset because something is different and they can’t understand what is different and it makes them anxious.
So responding to creating a care plan that’s proactive and involves the client and involves a little bit of investigative work and relying on the history of who they are. So if it’s somebody that has enjoyed reading for their whole life and a way to calm them down is by putting on an audio book and letting them have some quiet time, you can appeal to the person that they are and not the disease that they are in the throes of. So reaching out to their family creating that history, creating the care plan based on what they have enjoyed for their whole life and meeting them at where they are at that moment and providing that companionship, that one-on-one companionship tailored to the person, not tailored to the disease. That’s sort of how I like to approach it. I don’t know what your experience has been like that,
Jamie McGurgin (09:25)
100%, everything that you said, Liz, right on. You know, I like to find out as much as I can about the person. What did they do in the past? What was their family situation? Because you can talk about that for hours, right? And you can find activities. They may have been a really active person when they were younger or prior to the disease, but now they’re confined to a wheelchair.
And unfortunately, in a lot of cases, they’re confined to a wheelchair, not because they can’t walk, but because they’re unsteady and they may not have the support from the facility because the facility quite often are understaffed, right? So they can’t give that one-on-one care. So that’s why it’s so important for us to know all the information and sometimes just taking that guy for a walk.
we’re taking the little lady over to a quiet corner. That can make the world of difference. And that’s the best thing about our one-on-one care. Personally, I love it because I get to know the person and I have the motto that I don’t treat them like they’re a stranger. They’re my family.
Melissa Therrien, RN (10:43)
I love that, Jamie. think, yeah, like bringing it all back to it is not because these caregivers necessarily are incapable or uncaring or whatever we want to label them as these caregivers are limited by the constraints of staffing models. And that in and of itself is why the one-on-one the companionship from an external
you know, company is the most phenomenal idea and the greatest support. It gives the team that is in their care model and in their care team, in their residence, the opportunity to step back and not just to step back and have a break from this client, but also to step back and learn a little bit more about how to best manage without having to invest that front heavy time that they simply don’t have to learn all about that.
Liz Lewington (11:38)
Okay.
Melissa Therrien, RN (11:40)
it.
Jamie McGurgin (11:41)
It’s amazing like how we are welcomed to a lot of these facilities. The staff just love having us there because now they know that we’re there to help that person. Because like you said, their hands are tied because they may have 18 people to look after. And they’re heartbroken because they don’t get to do, I call it the fun stuff, like what we get to do, right?
Melissa Therrien, RN (11:55)
her.
Liz Lewington (12:07)
Yeah.
Melissa Therrien, RN (12:07)
Yeah.
Liz Lewington (12:09)
Yeah.
Melissa Therrien, RN (12:09)
Yeah.
Jamie McGurgin (12:10)
I get to sit there and I get to play ball. I get to talk. Sometimes I’m just talking to myself, but occasionally they laugh at me. So, you know, I like to think I’m funny sometimes, but you know, we’ve got the best job being companions in a care facility.
Melissa Therrien, RN (12:17)
Hehehe.
Liz Lewington (12:29)
Yeah, yeah. And it’s those difficult times when you really do need that one-on-one where you would step in, like a transition to a new facility, sort of a acute condition that’s flared up and now they’ve gone to the hospital, they’re in an unfamiliar environment. Maybe their family has gone away on a holiday and they normally would come to visit. So those…
You show up at a time that’s normally very stressful for the client and because you’re able to do that one-on-one visit, it’s a touch point. It’s a piece of home for them to be able to have somebody that, like you say, you may be talking to yourself, but for them, it’s a familiar voice. It’s somebody that they’re comfortable with. It’s a beautiful moment for them to be able to calm down, feel that connection. They may not remember
your face or your name, but they remember that feeling that you have, that you give them when they’re there.
And yeah, we come in and it’s one-on-one with a client in what people consider to be a place with high staffing, even the hospital. Hospitals, they’re there for the physical care needs primarily, not really there for the mental health. So you’ll go in and there’ll be somebody that has…
for their own safety and for the requirement of their body been put in some sort of a restraint, whether it’s chemical or physical. But if we’re allowed to do the one-on-one care, we often can remove those restraints, reduce the medications, and just be there for them so that they’re comfortable, you know, they have that compassionate care one-on-one that, again, like you said, Melissa, the hands are tied of the staff that are in there. You know, you’re running an acute care floor. You need to have all eyes and all hands on deck.
for medical needs, not necessarily the time for that one-on-one. So it’s a beautiful place to be able to go in and you can see often as a nurse or a care aide or anybody in the medical field, you don’t physically get to see the major changes. There’s moments of joy and being able to be there, you do have this sort of hit of a moment of joy when you’re able to walk in and the smile on that person’s face when they realize, you know what, you’re here for me and it’s going to
make
me feel a little bit less alone, a little bit less small in this scary environment because it is scary when you don’t recognize the staff, when the lighting is harsh, the sounds are always happening, you don’t get good rest. So having somebody that is a touchstone is so important and not a time to cut back or stop it during those transitions in and out of acute care and back to facility, it’s so important.
Melissa Therrien, RN (15:20)
Uh-huh.
Jamie McGurgin (15:22)
like to share a little bit of an incident that happened with me. And it goes with exactly what you’re saying, you know, like how the changes are when they’re moved from one place to another place. So I’ve had this client got moved into the hospital. And of course, you know, it’s a complete new setting, right? They haven’t slept, they’re not eating very well. And it’s a whole new environment. Well, we had I hadn’t
incident where we were in the bathroom, everything was fine. Next minute, things changed, right? He became aggressive. And the important thing is when you’re in a situation like that, you need to remember they’re not doing it to be mean or anything. It’s something that they’re not sure what exactly is happening. And any of us would react the same way, whether it’s somebody put a wet face cloth on our face, right? So it’s very important that you
Melissa Therrien, RN (16:17)
huh.
Jamie McGurgin (16:19)
maintain your cool, no matter what’s happening, and always talk to them. So during an incident that I had, you know, I was squatted down trying to remove the patient’s pants. And next thing I know, my hair is being pulled. I can’t get them to let go. You know, option one, you could yell and scream, but what’s that going to do? Right? So I just continued talking to them. A nurse walked by, they came to help.
And eventually we got my hair out. And I just continued like nothing was happening. Right? I was, I’m here to provide the care. I’m here to make sure that they’re safe and that they’re comfortable. So I just continued on. And afterwards I said, you know what? We need to have a calm environment. So I took the resident for a walk. We walked around. By the time I took him back to his room, got him onto the bed.
The highlight of that episode was he looked at me, smiled and said, I appreciate you.
So you got that
moment of clarity. So they might not know right at that moment that, you know, something bad is happening and just how you react, you can end up sometimes with that same response. I’ve had another dementia patient and she was the sweetest lady. And before she got aggressive, because unfortunately, that is one of the stages of dementia, is the aggression. She would always tell me,
Melissa Therrien, RN (17:37)
huh.
Mm-hmm.
Jamie McGurgin (17:56)
you know, I love you, but, and then, you know, she would hit me or something, right? So you, get to know the clients. And as soon as I know she says, I love you, but I knew, okay, something’s going to happen. I’m, I’m prepared, right? I’m not going to yell and scream at her. That’s the most important thing. Sometimes with our dementia patients, they respond very well to touch, whether it’s just touch their hand.
Melissa Therrien, RN (18:11)
Okay.
and
Jamie McGurgin (18:26)
If they’re sitting, just put a hand on their thigh. Sometimes you have to put them in a bear hug and you just feel them just melt, right? Because you’re that one person, you’re their person that they can relate to, that they know and they feel safe. So when you get those moments, it’s just amazing.
Melissa Therrien, RN (18:35)
huh.
Okay.
Liz Lewington (18:48)
I agree. Yeah, touch is so important. mean, at the right time, you’ve got to make sure you’re not going in for a hug when someone’s really angry. Just like anyone else in the public, you’re not going to go and hug someone that’s yelling at the waiter. But if you’re using touch appropriately, like you suggested, Jamie, it’s beautiful because these are people that don’t often have physical touch. we crave it. As human beings, we do crave to have physical touch.
Melissa Therrien, RN (18:50)
Yeah.
Jamie McGurgin (18:56)
Yeah.
Melissa Therrien, RN (18:57)
Ha ha ha ha.
Liz Lewington (19:18)
so
detached from the care that they receive. The touch that they get is strictly a task related touch. It’s not a affectionate touch. It’s not a of a grounding touch that you use when you’re talking to somebody to make sure that they understand that I’m here and I’m connected with you. Often just like you say, a hand on the shoulder or to try and hold their hand or to talk to them about, did you get your nails done? And you hold their hand.
And it’s not being done out of any other reason, but connection. And that connection, like you say, it can have such a powerful feeling for them. And whether or not they know it, it can be a beautiful moment. I fully agree with you there. Yeah.
Melissa Therrien, RN (20:07)
Yeah,
totally. And I think there’s many advantages to touch, right? Like Liz said, you know, don’t run up to someone on the street who’s having a meltdown and give them a hug. But, you know, you do want to give that person the opportunity to be safe for themselves and to be safe for others. And so maybe that is a touch interaction, right? And I think it’s all about the approach and the intention behind it.
And whether we like to believe it or not, I think that intention and that energy that we bring forth to that situation is very palpable. You can feel that there’s heightened tension in the room. They can feel that there’s heightened tension in the room. And if you approach someone that’s already at 100, redlining, and you’re anxious and like, okay, I need to walk up to them and hold their hands, but like this, because I don’t want them to hit me and I’m within arm’s reach now.
That’s escalating the situation, right? And the intention is to protect yourself. But if we approach those situations with that loving intention and that calm and compassionate approach, where you’re holding their hand in your hand or hands up, or you’re approaching them from the side where it’s maybe a safer place to approach them, or you’re not approaching them at all, but you’re entering their environment in that safe and calm manner.
you know, that energy in and of itself, even without that physical touch, is readily available for them to be a part of, right? And I think that in and of itself is so crucial and can see such dramatic changes in someone’s behavior just with that energy.
Liz Lewington (21:49)
Yeah, escalation leads to escalation. So if you’re meeting them where they are and you’re on that same trajectory, we’re going to have the RCMP called. We don’t need that. We don’t want that. What we need to do is meet their escalation with calm and de-escalation. You want to go in completely calm voice, control everything. You really do need to take a breath outside of the room. And I know that energy is going to always lead you to think that this is an escalation. need to all
Melissa Therrien, RN (21:52)
Absolutely.
Liz Lewington (22:19)
respond
with some kind of a controlling ability, but the best control is to just breathe and go in with a smile. know, keep your safety obviously at the forefront. You’re never going to go in face first hoping to get slugged, but you’re going to go in calm and gentle and lower your voice because if they’re yelling and your voice is low, they’re going to want to hear what you have to say. So they’ll lower their voice and you know,
you can bring it down and Jamie you’re like the maestro of it. You are, I mean you’ve been given praise from, it was a geriatric specialist and for your approach like that you are a person that’s able to change.
the outlook of somebody’s dementia just by being there. So whatever magic you have, know, thank you so much. We need more of it. need more of it. And that’s why this is such an important conversation to get out there. Yeah, yeah, I’ll stop talking.
Melissa Therrien, RN (23:19)
Yeah, absolutely.
And I agree, Jamie,
I think you have magic. There’s no question and it takes that special touch. But I do think it’s a teachable skill as well. You know, I think, you know, we label people and we create that stigma and then we go into situations with a different thought about a person, right? Because of previous behaviors.
If we could go into it, I think we talked about that this morning in our morning meeting, Liz, like animals do, you know, the situation has occurred and we’ve moved past it and we bring no judgment, no other thoughts or feelings or anything about it into the new situation. Right. I think those labels are so detrimental, but it’s a teachable thing to say to someone, let’s not approach, you know, let’s not do what our instinct says and
approach this person to try and restrain them or otherwise, let’s leave them be. Let’s let that energy out and let it happen. Make sure that people are safe around them. But we have to go against that instinct that is, I need to stop this from happening and just let it happen. know, and let that energy out and let it happen. Let’s keep everyone safe.
And then let’s deal with the situation once everyone comes in with a calm energy. So beautiful and magic. I believe you are Jamie, because you have the ability to do it in like the next level heightened situation. But I do believe we all have something to learn from the magic that you bring. And it is learnable. Is that a word? You know, it is something that we can learn from.
Jamie McGurgin (25:08)
yes.
Melissa Therrien, RN (25:14)
with your expertise. So I very, very much appreciate that, what you bring to that and appreciate you as a whole. I think it’s great.
Liz Lewington (25:23)
with what sort of advice would you give to a family member that’s struggling to connect with someone with dementia or let’s say a new caregiver that’s going in and they have, we’ve all been there, you you’re terrified, you can be terrified. And the magic that you have learned, like we say, it is a learned behavior. We were all born this way, knowing how to navigate these situations. What’s something that you would recommend or approach that has worked for you?
Jamie McGurgin (25:23)
Thank you so much.
Liz Lewington (25:53)
What’s something that you can give us?
Jamie McGurgin (25:55)
Well, what I found is, like I said, I always treat everybody like they were my family member. So that is the biggest thing. And the clients, residents, they pick up on that, right? So you’re going in, you’re going to treat them exactly like if they were your family. So they may not know who you are at that moment, but don’t dwell on that. Just continue talking to them.
quite often refer to everybody as my friend. So once I’ve got that connection with that person, if a new staff member comes in, I’d like to say, meet my friend. Because once they know that I trust that person, then it’s okay for them to trust that person, right? And for the family, it is the hardest on the family, right? Because they’re stuck with the memories of…
You know, this is what dad was like before. This is what mom did before or my sister. And you just have to remind them, you know, they’re still in there and they’re going to remember those moments. And it is the most heartwarming feeling when all of a sudden the dementia patient gets that flash of previous life. Right. And all of a sudden you see a movement or a face that they’ve done before.
and the family member just looks and, there’s mom, right? And it’s like, see, they’re still there. What I like to do quite often is if the resident I’m with is having a good day or something, and I’ve got that connection with the family, I’ll take a picture of us. And, you know, when the family comes in, hey, look at this picture. You know, this is what we did.
Melissa Therrien, RN (27:39)
Bye.
Jamie McGurgin (27:47)
And even showing them when they’re heightened, sometimes that picture, it just is a little grounding moment. You have to really think outside the box. And I’ve done some crazy things like I’ve had a toilet paper bracelet. The one resident, she decided that I needed this bracelet. She made it for me while she’s in the bathroom and she was so proud of it. So I walked around with this bracelet for the rest of my shift. And it was a 12 hour shift.
So, you know, I did that. And throughout the day, she kept touching that bracelet going, nice. I like that. And I’m like, yeah, you made that for me. She goes, I did. And I’m like, yes. And I’m going to keep it forever. And then a while later, you know, she’d say something else and we go back to the bracelet. And they remembered that, hey, I did that. You know, all of a sudden you get little flashes. So you just have to be calm.
No matter what happens, be calm. Remember, there’s still a person.
Melissa Therrien, RN (28:50)
Mm-hmm. Yeah. So as a, I know that you’re a healthcare aide and a companion. When, if you were to take on, say we took on a new client, they’re at end stage dementia and you know, the behaviors have been a challenge for the team or maybe not yet, but we’re trying to be proactive.
When is a good time for a companion to be a part of that care team? Is there a time where you recommend it or is there a bad time?
Jamie McGurgin (29:24)
Bad time for a new companion to come in, especially solo, is when we know that they’ve been escalated for a few days, right? If they really heightened escalation, I don’t think that’s the best time for a new companion to come in by themselves. Definitely we can still bring a new companion in, but let’s bring him in with somebody that’s their comfort so that they can see and…
really for the companion, gives them that extra sense of knowledge and a new skill set, right? Because they can see, okay, this is what works. maybe, you know, could we try this? You could bounce ideas off of each other. And then you’re going to find something that works. But when they’re heightened escalation, especially for a few days, sometimes it’s a gamble, right? If a new companion is the best thing.
Liz Lewington (30:20)
And that’s where that care planning comes in. So if you’re able to create a care plan with the staff, with the family, with the client, and then you can say, well, when I’m in with this person, the thing that calms them down is we go and we get a cookie. Because I mean, who doesn’t love a cookie? But there’s that moment where you can say, you know, I’m really hungry.
Jamie McGurgin (30:20)
So it’s kind of, it’s a hard one.
Melissa Therrien, RN (30:23)
Yeah.
Liz Lewington (30:49)
I was thinking about going to get a cookie. What do you think of that? And they’d be like, a cookie. So it’s a moment to add that to the care plan if it’s something that works relatively consistently so that other staff going in, other people going in, even the family, you can say, hey, I know that you’re struggling here, but you know what Jamie found?
This is what she found when she visits. If you just say these words to your loved one, that can help to deescalate their behavior and help bring them back around to the moment instead of being caught up in what they’re feeling because those overwhelming feelings can really run the show. And there’s always some fear, some anxiety, and depending on who the person is and what their history has been, triggers are all different. So creating that care plan
with their best interest in mind and what feeds into that happiness that they’ve had in their life and who they are. So music, I think we mentioned this the last time, but music is such a big part of that. So you can, you know, leave them alone. And if it’s if music has been a part of their life and often it has for folks, you can put some music on quietly and it’ll help to deescalate the situation as well. yeah, that care plan and talking to the family, talking to the staff, communication is so
important and then once we have something that works giving it back to the staff so when we are not there they have you know their own artillery of ways to help this person keep calm and happy and connected with us what’s going on in their in their moments that they’re experiencing.
Jamie McGurgin (32:26)
Yeah, with my previous, one of my previous clients that had dementia, me and the other caregiver, we actually became really good friends because we started chatting on our off time about, hey, what have you done in this situation? So building up that teamwork within the team, right? Get to know the other care workers with them. And then definitely you can share ideas. One thing that I think would be amazing to do for
Liz Lewington (32:48)
Yeah.
Jamie McGurgin (32:55)
our company and everything is to have a get together of each care team. So if we know that we have five regular care workers with this person, let’s set aside a time, 15 minutes or something for all of us to quickly bounce back. Okay, this works. This didn’t work, right? Get everybody on the same page, same page. Because if we all start doing the same thing, they’re going to have amazing care because
Melissa Therrien, RN (33:22)
Okay.
Jamie McGurgin (33:25)
everything’s the same, they know exactly what to expect. We all hate to admit it, we all have forms of OCD that we like things a certain way, right? So giving our clients, our patients, our extended family member, that kind of care can make a world of difference. We are so routine based.
Melissa Therrien, RN (33:32)
Thank
Liz Lewington (33:34)
Yep.
Melissa Therrien, RN (33:44)
So.
Mm-hmm. Yeah, and that consistency of care is something, you know, I speak about all the time and, you know, as Liz talks about the care planning, like, we want that consistency of care. That consistency is so key. Any changes, whether it’s just a senior client or a pediatric client even, or you have someone who has dementia.
that consistency is key. Little changes throw people off. They throw me off, you know, I don’t love it. You know, I don’t think any of us really love changes thrown at us without our knowing. And so I think that care planning and that consistency, and I love your idea of that group getting together and sharing ideas and being humble enough to be open to receiving ideas too, I think is great. And I’d love to see families be a part of that.
Liz Lewington (34:32)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Therrien, RN (34:41)
Because I think families hear a lot about behaviors and less and less about, this was a phenomenal day. We had a shower. We did all of these things. We got care done with no issues. know, as much as there’s things that we don’t want to focus on because they should be happening, just tickety boo, I think we need to talk more and more about the successes that we have, big or small, when it comes to care of our
clients, residents, extended family members. I love that you called them that. I think that’s fantastic.
Jamie McGurgin (35:18)
The one thing that I like to always do with my family, if they ask me, how was the day? If I had something negative happen, I’ll start off with my negative, but then I like to point out something positive. You know, so start off with the bad and build up to the extreme. So in that one case, the bad was the incident in the bathroom. The mild was, hey, we went for quite a few walks. And then the highlight of the moment,
he said he appreciated me. And that just changes the family’s output, right? Because they’re like, as soon as they hear the bad, they’re like, oh man, what’s happening, right? But then when you could tell them something good, it just warms them.
Liz Lewington (36:05)
Absolutely.
Melissa Therrien, RN (36:06)
Yeah, I think
our families too hear so much of the bad that they start to feel bad for the care team. You know, they’re like, I’m so sorry. Like maybe we should pull you out because I don’t want you to be in that situation. Or I don’t like you hearing these racial comments that, you know, my loved one is throwing at you and I feel bad for you. I think it’s so important for us to reiterate. Like, just like you said, this isn’t
this person, right? This is part of that disease process. And here’s the great things that are part of our relationship as a companion and a client. So I love that approach.
Liz Lewington (36:46)
Yeah, same here. Yeah.
Jamie McGurgin (36:47)
Another funny moment was I
had a client and of course I’m a bigger girl and she told me I was fat and the family’s like, that’s not nice. And she looked at me and she goes, okay, you’re just overnourished. And I’m like, okay, we can work with that one. So now I’m just overnourished. So.
Melissa Therrien, RN (36:56)
I’ve heard that. Yeah.
Liz Lewington (36:59)
And there too.
Hahaha
Melissa Therrien, RN (37:07)
Yeah.
I love
it
Yeah, I once had a client tell me, they didn’t have your size of pants. And I was like, okay, noted. And I have not worn those pants since, you know, it’s like the honesty coming out. But you have to laugh about it, right? I mean, it’s like we do with children, they’re just brutally honest. you’re like, noted, I will take that and that to give you. Thank you for the feedback.
Jamie McGurgin (37:25)
yes!
Liz Lewington (37:36)
I’m
Jamie McGurgin (37:38)
Well, my
one client that I had with my name tag, one day she was so fascinated with it. So I gave her my name tag. And then I started joking around and I’m like, what’s my name? And she started calling me trouble. Well, luckily with our name tags, they’re just a label that’s on there. So the next day I went home, I made a new label and I wrote trouble on it. And I put it on and I came to work the next day and I’m like, hey,
Melissa Therrien, RN (38:03)
I don’t know.
Jamie McGurgin (38:08)
What does my name say? She looks at it. She’s just lit up. She’s like trouble. So I kept that name tag for about a couple of weeks and then finally she let me have my name back.
Liz Lewington (38:14)
I love you.
Melissa Therrien, RN (38:15)
I love
Liz Lewington (38:19)
Hahaha
Jamie McGurgin (38:21)
So it’s little things like that that you can do and it doesn’t take, it doesn’t cost anything and it takes minimal effort, right?
Liz Lewington (38:29)
Yeah.
Yeah.
Melissa Therrien, RN (38:30)
And how it’s enhanced our lives too, right? I mean, we’re sharing these stories and it warms my heart to hear your stories and it brings back all of these memories of the phenomenal experiences I have had as a nurse, as a companion, as a manager, where you get to be a part of these situations and we gain something from these as well. And that’s maybe the most beautiful thing is how much we gain from these experiences.
Jamie McGurgin (39:00)
yeah, as much as they have to give, we receive tenfold.
Melissa Therrien, RN (39:05)
Absolutely.
Liz Lewington (39:06)
100%. We do really gain and it feels so selfish. know it isn’t, but when you’re having those experiences that mean the world to you, and because they do, they really do, because it’s not…
Jamie McGurgin (39:07)
Yeah.
Liz Lewington (39:22)
It’s not somebody that is easy to make happy or to please. And when you do, it means so much more to me, to whoever is experiencing it. And those are the moments I love to share with the family is, you you
I’ll call after a visit that went really well and I’ll tell the jokes that their loved one had for me that day. And often it’ll be, my gosh, he’s used that so many times in the past. And you’re like, well, he said it again today to me. And then they know that their dad is comfortable with letting out his inner child to tell these ridiculous jokes or to share experiences that maybe they hadn’t even shared with their kids because they didn’t see it as an appropriate conversation.
for their child, but you know, we’re all adults now. And so being able to connect with somebody, not as their kid, but as somebody that they’re comfortable with and they share these hilarious conversations and being able to reach out to the family and share them, it’s like giving a little piece of their dad or mom back to them in the form of these conversations. So they know that they’re getting that personal touch, that person that they really do connect with. So yeah, like you say, we get tenfold from these.
visits these conversations it really is nowhere near a one-sided moment. It’s 100 % us involved too. Makes me look forward to the visits so much though. That’s why we keep coming back because there could be a bad day but anytime that bad day has a good moment it washes away that bad day for us. It’s beautiful, beautiful.
Melissa Therrien, RN (40:50)
Hmm hmm.
Yeah. Jamie, as we start to wrap up this conversation, is there anything else that you’d like to share with us relating to family, companionship, to Medicare, your experiences, anything else you’d like to share to wrap this up?
Jamie McGurgin (41:23)
Well, I’d like the key takeaway to be, you know, always remember that there’s still a person in there. They may not talk to you for the first how many hours of your shift, but don’t let that stop you. Okay. Still focus on them. Still talk to them. Yeah. You may feel like silly because you’re just talking about anything, but at any moment they can warm up to you.
and you can form that connection. When you’re talking with the family, like I said, you know, I want to reiterate always, you know, if you have to tell them something bad, point out the good. And, you know, it’s not their fault. They have this awful disease that hopefully we can find a cure or some way to slow it down, but just be there for everybody. When you’re there as a caregiver,
You’re not solely for that resident, you’re for everybody. And it’s amazing how that can make a huge difference. Once you form that connection with the family, then everybody’s working together and it’s just amazing.
Melissa Therrien, RN (42:35)
thank you so much, Jamie. I think the wisdom and the experience that you bring to the table are encouraging in the face of this disease and for the future and what it looks like to care for these lovely people and these human beings that are suffering in some way, right? So thank you so much. For all that you do, we appreciate you. I know families appreciate you.
And I know that your work is recognized by people watching your interactions with these clients of ours. So thank you so much, Jamie. Thank you for what you do and all that you give to these clients. I know we just talked about what you receive as well, but you know, it starts with that give. And so thank you so much for what you do.
Jamie McGurgin (43:26)
Thank you and honestly, as cheesy as it sounds, I just love it. I love working with our dementia patients because they have so much to give.
Melissa Therrien, RN (43:32)
Okay.
Yeah, agreed. Liz, any closing remarks? sorry.
Liz Lewington (43:39)
Yeah, I agree. You know,
I feel very calm myself. Thank you, Jamie, for that.
Jamie McGurgin (43:48)
You
Liz Lewington (43:48)
I think it’s been just a wonderful conversation. And we can have this conversation over and over again and over again because it does, it always bears, you know, the idea that things are moving forward and there’s never going to be a time when this isn’t an important conversation. if folks do enjoy this topic, I would love to have you back, Jamie, if we do want to go down this road again, because I think everyone’s different experiences.
is change and we can pick one little area of dementia to move forward in. Let’s march forward in retraining ourselves, our families, our coworkers and staff and create those beautiful moments for everybody. So thank you so much for making it a part of the conversation.
Jamie McGurgin (44:41)
Thank you for inviting me. And of course, you know, I’m passionate about this subject and I’m willing to speak with anybody that wants a little bit, somebody to bounce ideas off of. I’m always open to that.
Liz Lewington (44:58)
Well, thank you so much.
Melissa Therrien, RN (44:58)
Thank you.
All right, and as we close out the show, as always, get some help, ask questions, our families that are out there that are struggling with this, you’re not alone. Please reach out to us, whether it be for business or just for someone to talk to, we’re always an open ear and we would love to continue this conversation with you and support you. It takes a village and if there are any questions, we’d love to get them.
Please leave a question in the comments and we’d love to follow up and chat about, know, maybe something that you are dealing with or things that you would like to hear us chat about. So thank you very much for listening today. Like and subscribe. And I look forward to chatting with you guys next week, Liz and Jamie. Thank you again for everything that you do. Take care, guys. Bye bye.
Jamie McGurgin (45:53)
Thank you.
Liz Lewington (45:54)
Take care, bye.